When I told him I would not fight the metastasis to the bone via tooth and nail, just wanted to be kept comfortable and keep the cancer at arm's length as long as possible, his response was exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. His yarmulka stayed pinned on his head while my silver cross was caught in my reconstructed cleavage. He listened, he heard.
His reply to my questions as to how we would treat this without going overboard in loading up the system with toxic drugs (this cancer will never be eradicated, hence cured), Dr. Levandovsky said he would treat it with "this and that" and if this and that did not provide relief or slow down of growth of tumors, he said he would treat it "with the other." He sensed I did not need to know specific effects of seven syllable oncologic drugs, nor would I remember their specific names even five minutes later. He just knew that I was leaving the specifics in his hands. The analogy is that he and God are taking care of all the details.
This morning I go in for patient education on oral daily drugs.
My anxiety is under control with drugs and I have slept much better the last couple of nights.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. As for me, it is good to be near God. Psalms 73:26
All those chemo hats I have been crocheting will go to the oncology unit. Here are two finished last week.
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and another Bellatina...
Wow. Nancy, I admire your bravery and knowing what you want. I'm glad you have a doctor who respects your needs and wants. Sending you a hug.
ReplyDeleteNancy, would you believe, after all these years I recently found more paperwork about Dave's time in treatment? It was surreal; perhaps I should have kept them but I didn't. I helped Dave to the best of my ability and strength; how may I help you?
ReplyDeleteGod bless you! Still praying! Glad you have a good doctor, sorry for the news. Yet you are safe in God's hands. ♡
ReplyDeleteOh dear Nancy, you are being SO brave and I promise that I will keep you in my prayers. Sending my love your way. HUGS
ReplyDeleteGod bless you! Still praying! Glad you have a good doctor, sorry for the news. Yet you are safe in God's hands. ♡
ReplyDeleteGosh Nancy I feel very sad to learn that you have such a struggle to face but also humbled by your acceptance, faith, resilience and grace. I am prayerful for healing and comfort for you. Betty x
ReplyDeleteI sense the deep faith in your heart and the peace. I'll be praying.
ReplyDeleteSending love and hope.
I sense the deep faith in your heart and the peace. I'll be praying.
ReplyDeleteSending love and hope.
You are opening my eyes to my little, petty life. Your strength is inspiring-especially because it is from God. In this sick world, people like you are heroes.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Nancy. My husband went home to be with the Lord almost three years ago. We only knew about his cancer four months before he died. If I had known more I would have refused to let them treat him with chemo and radiation. It only made things harder for him. You are so wise to take the route you're taking. Your faith in God is priceless and precious. Fear not; He is with you always!
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy! Your email wasn't attached to your comment so I'm replying here. Believe me, I don't do all that knitting, exercising, guitar playing etc. now. I've started many blogs over the years and I start and stop different activities. :) Much of that was from before my husband died. Right now I mainly do the ATC's and read. I don't have a lot of energy after coming home from my deli job. It's pretty physically demanding at my age. I just want to REST when I get home. If you'll email me at plumhill2001@yahoo.com and give me your email address I'll try to give you directions to find that 5x7 canvas swap. The site I go to can be confusing to navigate. Thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you dear, Nancy ♥
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