Not Feeling Like an Easter Person

During the session last night at our weekly RCIA class, we were asked to write how activities of the past week had affected us in terms of our spirituality.  Here were my thoughts:

Several times over the past week I have said that Passion Week was difficult for me.  Instead of being one of the Risen People, I have felt inadequate, shamed by my lack of compassion with Julie.  Yes, I have spent time with her, but that root feeling of impatience in doing things for her has come over me too many times.  Too often I have felt anger, pity, judgment and frustration.  Instead of acting out of love, I have been quick to jump into areas not within my realm of understanding.

That written, I was caught again by one of Richard Rohr's meditations.  Just today, I read these thoughts found here.

We Christians are such a strange religion! We worship this naked, bleeding loser, crucified outside the walls of Jerusalem, but we always want to be winners, powerful, and on top ourselves . . . at least until we learn to love the little things and the so-called little people, and then we often see they are not little at all, but better images of the soul. 

Yes, those with mental and physical disabilities, minority groups, LGBTQ folks, refugees, prisoners, those with addictions--anyone who's "failed" in our nicely constructed social or economic success system--can be our best teachers in the ways of the Gospel. They represent what we are most afraid of and what we most deny within ourselves. That's why we must learn to love what first seems like our "enemy"; we absolutely must or we will never know how to love our own soul, or the soul of anything. Please think about that until it makes sense to you. It eventually will, by the grace of God.

I simply need to shut my mouth.  And listen.  And act from love. And learn to accept my enemy, my own unworthy soul.  And just maybe I will learn the lesson, by the grace of God.

The most important lesson is this:

God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.

--1 Corinthians 1:27

Happenings at Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church last week:

Abbreviated Rosary (called a decade rosary, made of ten repetitions) hand made by my sponsor, Ramana. She made this and gave it to me at Easter Vigil late Saturday evening.  The cross she made is that of St. Brigid of Ireland, my chosen patron saint. I think it is beautiful.

Ramana is shown in photo below, right, when she sponsored me at my confirmation into the Catholic Church on December 19, 2015.