A Mother's Day Thought without Flowers

One of my favorite sermons concerning Mother's Day was delivered several years ago by a Lutheran pastor.  She spoke a few words in a heartfelt message about Mother's Day, and how it is not always a happy time for many individuals, especially for women who had lost children to death, to drugs, to estrangement, or to legal intervention which placed children in other homes or institutions. And women who chose abortion as a means to end an unwanted child were also mentioned with sadness by this pastor: how, indeed, would that female remember Mother's Day and her prior actions to prevent the start of a life from shortly becoming one of her own children?

This pastor went on to say that not all people were lucky enough to be born to exemplary mothers; some people were not nurtured with love, with bed-time stories, with chicken soup and sweet kisses on hurts, but instead had only painful memories of their mothers. And those unpleasant memories were brought to their attention and in juxtapostition by Mother's Day being joyfully celebrated by others.

But if you are lucky enough to have children who give you esteem out of love, or even simple duty, then you are blessed.  And blessings to you if you have or had a mother who did not abandon you, and who more times than not, gave you love.

Simply being reminded that motherhood is not all ribbons and bows is worthy of thought.  And it makes one careful of calling out "Happy Mother's Day" to female strangers at the supermarket, since it might evoke an untoward response.

On Sunday afternoon at the manor, the activity directors sponsored a tea for all mothers at the facility.  Refreshments and flowers were well received, and we heard some amazing stories about elderly resident mothers who were honored that day.  One son told of his mother having read the entire Bible each year for 48 years.  Forty-eight times she had read the Bible, and lived her life with those lessons in mind.  He and his dad are there every day for a few hours at lunch time, honoring their mother, cajoling her to eat, giving their attention to her. She is truly blessed.

Julie gave me potted tulips in my favorite colors, and a wooden carved face to place in our garden.  She gave Gene's mother flowers, and then we had his mother and part of her family over for dinner in the evening while Julie stayed at the manor.

Gene advanced pups Mercy and Libby some money, and they gave me presents he said they told him to purchase to thank me for a year of being a good dog momma.  Gene made this picture of them:

A Plaintive Little Cry

It was warm late Tuesday morning, and Julie and I were sitting outside on the home patio, sun beaming down from the east on Julie's back as she faced me in half profile.  She was enjoying the first of the warmth provided by the spring sunlight. I was a few feet away in the shade, perched on a painted wooden rocker with legs folded while I removed woolen socks, hand knit a decade prior. "It is hard to part with a sock one has knit oneself with a good quality yarn," I thought to myself as I critically reviewed the wear on the socks.

Silently lamenting that fact as I pulled off one sock, then the other, folding them and stacking them, I said aloud to Julie "it is about time to use these socks as rags."  The old variegated wool had been washed way too many times, first as a hand wash, then as time went on, they had been tossed into the machine for thorough washing without further regard for the pilling process.  And the pair were indeed pilled, fine wool strands finding other similar worn yarn strands, knotting themselves together to create long errant pieces of extraneous fibers, an aesthetic bane to both knitters and wearers of wool.

Julie was listening to me, watching, contemplating my musing. Glancing over to her as she leaned back in her wheelchair, her head down as she was likely glancing at her iPad to see if a new WordChums play was ready for her response.

But she had heard me, and said "Don't use them as rags, given them to someone at the manor."  I was thinking that if this well worn foot apparel was eschewed by me, it would be unfair to offer them as a gift to one of the other residents. Julie then said "Lots of people there are continually cold, no matter how much the heat is cranked up." Then, under her breath, her head still turned downwards, and in a quieter, more high pitched voice, she said "I'm cold.  I'm cold."

I must have gasped because in my mind's eye, I saw the very elderly woman who lives on Julie's same wing at the manor.  Let's call her Ethyl.  "I'm cold, I'm cold," Ethyl laments in her chair parked outside the door to her room. I could very clearly picture Ethyl sitting in the hallway in a passive demeanor, waiting for the next activity to be laid on her by an aide or a nurse or an activity director. Toothless and without aid of dentures, her head bundled in a soft cap that covers her ears and forehead, there was Ethyl speaking through Julie.  "I'm cold, I'm cold."  Julie had mimicked Ethyl's voice perfectly, and with a fair amount of empathy. And Julie has heard this plaintive cry so many times over the past eleven months that it sprung forth from her being as if Ethyl were living inside Julie.  It was eerie how Ethyl was being channeled.

And maybe I will re-think using those well worn socks as cleaning rags.

Another story about an elderly nursing home resident can be read here.  It continues to be revised.

Photographic Mistakes

Thinking I was achieving a modicum of expertise with the camera, I snapped about two dozen or so pictures at the April 21 meeting of Brush and Palette with artist Kay Crane kindly providing the demonstration.  With humility and regret I report now that, every single one was lost due to my error. During the editing process, I inadvertently erased the entire album from my computer.  Alas, even after consulting experts from Google and Picasa, it was confirmed that I did the biggest no-no ever by deleting the album with one wrong key stroke.  The April meeting will go down without any visuals saved for posterity.  And Kay presented so well.  And we had a different venue for the meeting, with colorful backgrounds.  It is like telling you I caught a big fish, but he got away.  Those pictures were pretty good, really they were.

I was humbled by this faux paux but struggle forward and continue to volunteer my humble photographic efforts.  On May 7, about 50 individuals will be receiving their First Eucharist at Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church, and a photographer is needed to record their special day.  Yep, I will try.

Here is one picture of a baptism I photographed at the Easter Vigil service that has to be tops for sweetness and innocence appeal.

On the daughter front, she is getting along.  Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary since her husband's death.  You can imagine how that is impacting Julie.  She bought flowers this week for Sunday services in their former church in Rock Hill, SC to commemorate that anniversary.

Knitting: Reyna Shawl, about 1/3 completed and linking with Ginny and her Yarn Along:

Click on the Yarn Along Box to see what others are sharing this week on Ginny's blog

Anticipation

While reading Jean today, she reminded me of a conundrum that I experienced last weekend: the sewing machine electrical cord and foot pedal went missing.  And I mean nowhere were they to be found.  The last place I remember seeing the clear plastic sack containing those pieces was at the repair shop. 

That sack was lying last Friday morning on the repair office counter next to the cash register.  Inert, innocently bagged along with my name and phone number in case it was separated from the Pfaff.  It was just there.  I was trying so hard for it not to be misplaced.  But it was lost, or stolen, or taken by someone who had not a clue that it was important.

Two phone calls to the repair place assured me that the parts were not in their possession; intensive questioning of the husband revealed nothing (he carried the repaired machine back to its cabinet). A thorough car and then garage search revealed not a clue to the whereabouts of the missing parts.  Had I picked up that sack when paying for the repairs? I just cannot remember. So there was nothing else to do except order the missing parts from an internet source.  Sigh.  $120 could have been better spent.  Nothing to be done now but wait and see if the newly ordered parts show up via USPS.

Today is the first day that Julie will be at our house for a short visit since the first of the year.  Her visit will include lunch of fried trout that Gene and I caught last week at Corn Lake.  Julie was last here at the house on January 1 when almost immediately she became ill with that blasted virus that hit the manor, quarantining the place for about ten weeks until it had run its course of infecting all those vulnerable residents. From New Years' Day until today, Julie has either been recovering from illnesses and surgeries or otherwise incapacitated to the point she could not leave the manor/hospital for a visit home.  That is almost four months, so today will be a real treat. Pray it will be a "successful" visit: i.e., all bags stay in place on her body and she does not need to be returned to the manor for nursing care that I cannot provide. 

One of her nurses said yesterday that back in the early winter, Julie would begin throwing up on the mornings when she was to come over to our house because of anxiety that all would not go well.  That made me so sad to hear that.  I will endeavor to make light of any untoward outward expression of appliance glitches today, because it is likely Julie feeds on my nervousness.

Yesterday, I waited almost an hour at the manor for Julie and her entourage of care givers to finish up with her care before our visit.  (I brought tamales for our lunch.) While waiting, I finished this little piece in oils and pen, 5" x 7". 

Further dabbling yesterday with pansies and poppies in acrylics turned out nothing worth saving.  Tomorrow my friend at the manor who also paints with me on Wednesdays may provide something worth sharing.  I'll take a picture of the cardinal she is painting for show and tell.

The weather is truly spring-like, and by that I mean it takes its turn being cold and warm, with last night temps going down to freezing. Here is a photo of a few cosmos seedlings this morning.  They have spent the last three nights under a south window in my study.

About half of the seeds germinated, so it must be time to start planting and nurturing a second batch.

Last week a newly ordered kit with yarn dyed by KnitCircus showed up in the mailbox.  It is Rainbow Trail by Christina Gihrlanda.  Lovely colors! The color is named "Quoth the Raven." It will knit up into a striped sweater like this:

source

What Happened this Week

Best new recipe tried this week: Lemon Ice Box Cake  by 12Tomatoes to be served at RCIA tonight

source



Finished Projects: A Line Vintage Dress (modified pattern) and Yard Clean Up ( trees, boxes, rose bush limbs) in time for city-wide trash pick up, likely today

source is our front sidewalk



Frustrations: Julie has been in bed two weeks; sewing machine tension is off, making sewing almost unacceptable; Julie does not keep her new phone charged

Successes: Julie was in wheelchair and playing cards in the manor activity room with only minor headaches Sunday and yesterday; Pfaff sewing machine taken to be fixed at the repair shop; went fishing today and we caught our limit of trout! Geese were present

Happiness Derived from Material Goods: New Merlot Leather Lazy Boy Recliner delivered yesterday so Gene and I now have Edith and Archie Bunker chairs

source

 

Blooming:  Iris in front

144 seeds planted on April : progress of sprouting as of April 14. half are up:

Electronic Update: The Fire was knocked off Julie's bedside table on Sunday night and is broken beyond repair; new phone for Julie is working (but hardly ever charged when I need to call her)

Trying to learn how to use Jack's Camera (macro lens):

actual size: a 50 cent piece

 

Ollie the Owl: still here, seen most often at dawn and then again about 10 AM daily

Reading: Almost finished another Rosamund Pilcher's Winter Solstice, and Pain in the Tuchis

So what is up in your neck of the woods?

April Begins

Feeling better this week, thank you very much.  And thank you for comments and prayers.  Sandra, I empathize and sympathize with you for not allowing yourself to be caught up in time consuming efforts at the expense of not getting done what you need to accomplish. Thank you for your email.

Favorite recipe last week from Lee Drummond, Pioneer Woman, for Sunshine Muffins.  Pretty good, a happy yellow muffin with marmalade. Recipe here.  My old stand by recipe is quicker, but not quite as tasty. Gene made beans with ham and a tasty casserole last week, good for taking to the manor.

On April 1, I planted 144 seeds in plastic seed starters for yellow and red cosmos to go into our newly expanding Flower Bed, seen here two years ago when the Delancey Cardigan was knit up.  It will be increased in size by 100 %, to about 10 feet by 4 feet.

Received a dozen 5"x7" gessoed panels to paint from saved pins on Pinterest.  Amazon also provided a like number of mattes in white for pop in pictures.  Yesterday they all received a coating of acrylic peach paint, readying them for images.

On Saturday I saw "Hello, It's Me, Doris" with Sally Field.  It was a time to get out and see how the world and its occupants viewed our first day of warmer weather.  Gave the movie a B+; hard to see Gidget get older, but she kept her charm in tact.



Julie starts her eighth day in bed with a new wound care regime to help heal.  The director of nursing at the manor (DON) and I will be having a serious discussion about getting Julie out of bed and into her wheel chair for at least two hours a day.  It is not good to have her just lie in bed in her room for days at a time, no matter what the DON says.  

We shall see how that idea fares today.

Not Feeling Like an Easter Person

During the session last night at our weekly RCIA class, we were asked to write how activities of the past week had affected us in terms of our spirituality.  Here were my thoughts:

Several times over the past week I have said that Passion Week was difficult for me.  Instead of being one of the Risen People, I have felt inadequate, shamed by my lack of compassion with Julie.  Yes, I have spent time with her, but that root feeling of impatience in doing things for her has come over me too many times.  Too often I have felt anger, pity, judgment and frustration.  Instead of acting out of love, I have been quick to jump into areas not within my realm of understanding.

That written, I was caught again by one of Richard Rohr's meditations.  Just today, I read these thoughts found here.

We Christians are such a strange religion! We worship this naked, bleeding loser, crucified outside the walls of Jerusalem, but we always want to be winners, powerful, and on top ourselves . . . at least until we learn to love the little things and the so-called little people, and then we often see they are not little at all, but better images of the soul. 

Yes, those with mental and physical disabilities, minority groups, LGBTQ folks, refugees, prisoners, those with addictions--anyone who's "failed" in our nicely constructed social or economic success system--can be our best teachers in the ways of the Gospel. They represent what we are most afraid of and what we most deny within ourselves. That's why we must learn to love what first seems like our "enemy"; we absolutely must or we will never know how to love our own soul, or the soul of anything. Please think about that until it makes sense to you. It eventually will, by the grace of God.

I simply need to shut my mouth.  And listen.  And act from love. And learn to accept my enemy, my own unworthy soul.  And just maybe I will learn the lesson, by the grace of God.

The most important lesson is this:

God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.

--1 Corinthians 1:27

Happenings at Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church last week:

Abbreviated Rosary (called a decade rosary, made of ten repetitions) hand made by my sponsor, Ramana. She made this and gave it to me at Easter Vigil late Saturday evening.  The cross she made is that of St. Brigid of Ireland, my chosen patron saint. I think it is beautiful.

Ramana is shown in photo below, right, when she sponsored me at my confirmation into the Catholic Church on December 19, 2015.

Saturday Update: March 19-26

Best Recipe made this week: Chicken Enchiladas with Poblano Sauce, easy, tasty!  These are worth a try, even if you are a half heart-ed cook like me.

Favorite Lenten Service during the week at Immaculate Heart of Mary: the Tenebrae Service on Wednesday evening.  It was a lengthy service, with the Passion scriptures and excerpts from Psalms read, candles extinguished, and reverence abounding.  We exited the sanctuary after conclusion of the service in silence and semi-darkness.  That was Wednesday.

Pictures taken during the week: baptismal pictures that cannot be downloaded because of privacy responsibilities.  And kid pictures of the Easter Egg hunt today at the manor.  Many critters showed up for the goodies, littles were mostly family of residential members.  Again, no waivers were signed for picture permission. A good time was had by all.

Sewing: Liberty of London yardage purchased to be sewn up in one of those 70's style A-line comfy dresses.  Have had that pattern for a while, purchased from a vintage pattern online store.

Liberty of London

Reading Update: Almost through with C.S. Lewis' Letters to an American Lady (thank you, Elizabeth, for the suggestion).  Started A Pain in the Tuchis two days ago: it is about a murder in a Jewish retirement home with lots of references to Jewish slang, foods, synagogues, life in general.  Julie seems to like listening to it, especially when I get the elderly, screechy Jewish female voice right.

Ollie the Owl Update: He is still here! (same picture as previously) Mice population in the back area must be decreasing as he seems to be getting fluffier.

Art Update:  Gave one of Juliet's nurses one of my aspen paintings that I worked on during our Wednesday Painting Days at the Manor (failed to take a picture of it before it left the premises).  I really liked it and wanted to keep it, but that nurse was very kind to Julie, and I felt rather obligated.  Now the staff keeps asking when I will paint one for them ... no winning there.

And more art update:  purchased a dozen 5" x 7" canvas boards and another dozen white mattes for smaller art projects that I'll paint and contribute to the fall Fine Arts Show here in town to benefit Brush & Palette club.  Pinterest has lots of good ideas to follow.

Knitting Update: Finished another Piper's Journey Shawl in Ginny's poke berry dyed yarn and Berocco Chunky Vintage.  I ran out of the pink dyed yarn so had to complete the ends with the purple yarn, and had to deconstruct, then reconstruct the lace edging. That re knitting was quite the feat, and a more accomplished textile artist could have made it look more finished, but a shawl pin might just do the trick in covering over that dodgy row of Kitchener stitch.  Details here.

Julie Update: she is getting up for about 3-4 hours/day and into her wheelchair.  Pressure wounds?  No idea.  Headaches? None.  Low salt diet and diuretics and fluid restriction are working. Disposition: not the greatest on either her or my part.  I am trying to be more patient.  Which leads me into another topic of frustration: electronics.

Electronic Update:  Last week it was the iPad that had to be replaced because it happened to fly off Julie's bedside table. Then yesterday it was her phone that would not charge.  After an hour at the AT&T store, it was replaced, but now all those numbers that Uncle John put in on her device regarding speed dialing are lost. And she does not remember her password for email.  I tried several days to get it back, but now am on to another tact.

Come back, Uncle John, because my limited tech savvy is exhausted and her telephone directory is lost.

Art Blom and Updates

March 17, the day aka St. Patrick's Day, saw Art Blom as the featured artist providing a demonstration to the Brush and Palette Club.  Blom's art medium is painting with a palette knife and oils. From the Brush and Palette website where Elise wrote: 

Art has successfully made the transition from the three dimensions and tactile quality of sculpture to painting. 

Art grew up up in Idaho and received an MFA from Ohio State University. He was the head of the sculpture program at Grand Valley State College in Michigan, and taught classes at the Community College of Denver, in high schools and private classes. He has given demonstrations of his two and three-dimensional art techniques throughout the country and has shown extensively in one and two-man shows, juried shows and invitational exhibitions throughout the U.S. He moved to Colorado in the 1980’s, and quickly became enamored with landscape painting. He switched from acrylic to oil paint, and then discovered the textural possibilities of painting with a palette knife.

Art begins with a covering of oils on his canvas and primarily wields only one palette knife when he paints 

Applying a base coat of oils

Brooks Powell and Art

One of Blom's landscapes on display

...another Blom landscape

...and another Blom landscape

Captive Audience Attending Blom's demonstration

Trudy Ungaro won the March mini show!

And on to other news:

Yesterday, I received an illustrated letter from PomPom!  You really need to check out her blog for lovely pictures and her wonderful family.   She sent off Mr. Badger for a trip to the UK where he went to Downton Abbey, a cathedral, had tea in many places and lots of exciting adventures; did he have tales to tell!  (*She always make me smile.*)

I don't think she will mind my showing you a picture of Mr. Badger from her website.

Yesterday, Saturday, was the first day that Julie allowed herself to be transferred from the bed and into her wheelchair for a spin around the manor.  She is afraid that if she gets out of bed, her pressure sores will take longer to heal.  Oh, contraire'...but she must have heard someone say that while she was in Denver, so it stuck in her head.

Ring Neck Dove

Rather a good shot of a dove in our yard this week, don't you think?

Gene says it is of the invasive species brought in from Africa and Asia; it is called a ring necked dove. In Colorado, Fish and Game says there is no limit to hunting doves, but

TO HUNT EURASIAN COLLARED-DOVES, and other invasive species, you must have a hunter education card.

They also have a gentle nature, and are often kept as pets, so I will just look at them and listen to their cooing.  No dove hunting for me!

These are emerging from under mulched cottonwood leaves packed over by snow through winter:

 Columbine

Hollyhocks

Penstemon

Chives

Daisies

Julie sent me 2 dozen tulips by mail!

Forsythia

Crocus (March 19)

Six Days Later

Looking back over this blog, I realize this online journal is now mostly about daughter Juliet, not "Arts and Crafts".  And it has been almost a week since it was updated.  (Thank you, Sharon, for your text last evening asking about Julie and prompting me to write an update.)  Here is what has happened since last Tuesday:

Julie was taken by ambulance from Denver on Wednesday, a five hour trek over the Continental Divide, which resulted in more trauma to her pressure wounds.  She was placed back at the manor, sans IV medications, all being replaced by oral meds.  Good news: she was transferred from the hospital back to her "manor home." I returned a few days earlier back to GJ.

Since arriving back in Grand Junction, she has been kept on bed rest and on a special mattress and bed at the manor that shifts her body weight to try to help her heal the back thigh area. We have read half a book aloud since then: Virginia's Diary. And Gene reads his book to her.  We play Word Chums. 

Today she was angry, mad, and frustrated at being kept in bed.  She broke her iPad Saturday (it fell off the bed), so I got it replaced and found some little cord attachers that will keep her phone, her Fire, and her iPad all hooked up and disentangled from one another. Maybe.  And I bought a one year guarantee so that if she breaks it again, the warranty will cover it.  Bad news was that I got a glass cut from the screen; just glad it was not Julie that received the sliver in her hand.

And we have had several talks about hospice being brought in to help her.  These were not easy sessions, but realistic at this time. For now, the APH (atrial pulmonary hypertension) is being managed, but APH is a progressive heart disease under the umbrella of COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), a diagnosis that results in eventual death.  The good news is that the lasix are keeping fluid from building up around her lungs, and she is breathing easier.  We will not discuss the bad news.

And I finished the Promenade Shawl.  Never will I knit that again as those garter stitches never seemed to end.  But eventually, finished...