When I told him I would not fight the metastasis to the bone via tooth and nail, just wanted to be kept comfortable and keep the cancer at arm's length as long as possible, his response was exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. His yarmulka stayed pinned on his head while my silver cross was caught in my reconstructed cleavage. He listened, he heard.
His reply to my questions as to how we would treat this without going overboard in loading up the system with toxic drugs (this cancer will never be eradicated, hence cured), Dr. Levandovsky said he would treat it with "this and that" and if this and that did not provide relief or slow down of growth of tumors, he said he would treat it "with the other." He sensed I did not need to know specific effects of seven syllable oncologic drugs, nor would I remember their specific names even five minutes later. He just knew that I was leaving the specifics in his hands. The analogy is that he and God are taking care of all the details.
This morning I go in for patient education on oral daily drugs.
My anxiety is under control with drugs and I have slept much better the last couple of nights.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. As for me, it is good to be near God. Psalms 73:26